Have you ever dated an idiot? Maybe the person you’re currently with? Someone asked Reddit for their best “I’m dating an idiot” stories, and the sheer number of responses is amazing. Here are the highlights . . .
1. “They put shrimp in my food to see if I’m really allergic to seafood or just being dramatic.” It required an EpiPen and a trip to the E.R.
2. “They tried to argue with me about whether babies can breathe underwater.” (They might have been thinking of the diving reflex babies have.)
3. A guy claimed he couldn’t get his girlfriend pregnant while he was on antibiotics.
4. “We had a heated debate about whether or not dinosaurs were alive during the American Revolution.” The girlfriend’s stance was there’s no way to know.
5. A guy spit gum out on the sidewalk and said don’t worry, “It’ll evaporate.”
6. Google did an April Fool’s joke, claiming you could taste things by licking your phone screen. They “did it several times and said it didn’t work.”
7. A woman claimed the temperature in her house never changed, so she didn’t understand why she was always hot or cold. It turned out she’d left a sticker on a digital thermometer, and that’s why it always said “72 degrees.”
8. Two options for dinner: An Italian restaurant, or one with more options. She said she hated Italian, so they chose the other one . . . and she ordered lasagna.
9. A guy thought his car was stolen. Turned out he’d driven it across the street to buy a soda, walked home, and forgot he moved it.
10. In the movie “Seven”, everyone dies for committing one of the seven deadly sins. In the scene where you see the word “GLUTTONY” written on a wall, he said, “Ohhhhh . . . gluten.”
11. Someone said a restaurant made their own pickles, and their boyfriend told them no, “pickles grow on bushes.”
12. A woman wanted to know the breed of someone’s dog and asked, “Is that a Belgian waffle?”
13. A guy would find a recipe online, not follow the directions, and then blame the recipe.
14. A woman thought the sun and moon were the same thing. The moon is just the sun when it “runs out of fuel” each day.
15. On a first date, a woman said she wanted to be a “veteran” because she loves animals.
16. A guy only had one towel, so his girlfriend bought him a set for Christmas. His response was, “But I already have a towel.” He said he didn’t need more because “it gets cleaner every time you use it.” (???)
17. A guy bragged that he’d never read a book.
18. Someone caught their girlfriend using Tide Pods by ripping them open and pouring them into the washing machine.
19. A guy thought Harriet Tubman was a railroad conductor, and the Underground Railroad was literally underground.
20. A woman thought Mark Twain was Shania Twain’s husband.
