The police spend too much of their time dealing with DRUG ABUSERS . . . but thankfully, some druggies are helping cops be more efficient.   On Tuesday night, officers in Portland, Oregon stopped a man and a woman in their 30s driving a stolen car . . . and they searched the vehicle.   They found cash . . . a loaded revolver . . . scales . . . and drugs, including more than 10 grams of fentanyl and meth.  The drugs were easy to spot, because they were inside a bag that said, "Definitely Not a Bag Full [...]

If you made a shirt for your partner, featuring the phrase they ALWAYS say, what would it be?  Maybe, "Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening."   Someone asked the internet, "If you had to wear a T-shirt with your most-used phrase, what would your T-shirt read?"  Here are some of the best responses:   1.  "No worries" . . . even though all I've done since I was five is worry, 24/7. 2.  "I don't know, I just work here." 3.  "Fair enough." 4.  "What the [eff]?" 5.  "Where did I leave my . . ." 6.  "So, basically . . ." [...]

She says, quote, "He asked me if he could ask me.  He wanted to know if it was okay to propose before he proposed.  And I was like, 'Yes, it's so okay!'" They were on a rock-climbing trip, and he had the ring in his backpack.  But he did NOT get down on one knee . . . which she didn't mind because, quote, "I'm a modern lady." Wedding plans are up in the air at this point.  Gaga says, quote, "We actually talk a lot about just going to a courthouse just the two of us and just ordering Chinese [...]

A guy on Instagram took a fan's advice and gave himself a tattoo . . . on a ROLLERCOASTER.  It actually came out pretty good.  And yeah, it hurt.   (Here's the video.)