Did you see the solar eclipse yesterday?  Hopefully not by staring straight into it, which a lot of people DID DO, apparently.  Here’s a quick round-up of nonsense from yesterday’s eclipse. . .

1.  Google searches for “my eyes hurt” skyrocketed right after the eclipse ended.  They peaked around 3:20 P.M., just as the eclipse was maxing out on the East Coast.

Searches for “Why do my eyes hurt?” were also up.  Answer:  Because you just stared at the sun, dummy.  (Here’s a screenshot.)


2.  If you DID stare at the eclipse, “The Weather Channel” posted a list of symptoms to look out for, like headaches, blurred vision, and a blind spot in one or both eyes.  The good news is it usually resolves on its own, especially if you only peeked for a few seconds.  But see an eye doctor if necessary.


3.  People have also been claiming to have “eclipse sickness,” even though there’s no evidence that’s a real thing.  Reported symptoms range from insomnia, fatigue, and no appetite . . . to one woman who claimed it knocked her off her menstrual cycle.  (???)


4.  In less-funny eclipse news:  A woman in Florida shot at cars on the highway and blamed it on the eclipse.  She hit two people, but luckily no one died.

She’d just checked out of a hotel, and told staff she was going on a shooting spree.  She said God told her to because of the eclipse.  She’s facing attempted murder charges.


5.  Joe Biden trolled Donald Trump for staring straight at the last big eclipse in 2017.  Biden’s official Twitter account posted a video of him standing in the same spot with eclipse glasses on.  In voiceover, he said, “Enjoy the eclipse.  But play it safe.  Don’t be silly.”  (Here’s the video.)

Meanwhile, Trump put out his own eclipse video.  Instead of the Moon, a silhouette of his head passed in front of the sun.  The caption said the “most important event in human history” is coming . . . the 2024 election.  (Here’s the video.)


6.  YouTuber-turned-wrestler Logan Paul posted a video of the eclipse from his private plane.  The footage itself is pretty lame, but everyone on board seemed psyched.  (WARNING:  The video includes F-bombs and other profanity.)


7.  If you want to see it from even higher up, NASA posted footage from the Space Station of the full shadow passing over the Earth.  (Here’s the video.  Elon Musk posted a similar video from a SpaceX satellite.)


8.  Space.com posted a big round-up of eclipse photos from around the U.S.  And TheHill.com has timelapse videos of different cities being plunged into darkness.  (Someone also posted a photo of what it looked like through a Cheez-It.)


9.  Cloud cover did put a damper on things in some spots.  But others got lucky, or at least caught a glimpse.  A weatherman from Mississippi got pretty emotional watching it with his family in Dallas.  His name is David Hartman.  He nerded out on it pretty hard.  (Here’s the video.  He gets emotional at :05, then totality hits at 1:00, and the best footage of the eclipse starts at 1:56.)


10.  Anyone who missed the full thing this time around will get another chance when the next big eclipse cuts across the U.S. . . . in 2045.  Or if you can’t wait, book your tickets now and head on up to Greenland in two years.